I thought it would be fine to put on The Conjuring - a movie I’ve seen before - during daylight hours with the hum of the next door neighbor mowing his lawn to keep me company.
Cut to me turning on all the lights, shutting all the doors, and making an old man wheezing noise when a branch fell on the roof. Fucking hell. I can’t even go downstairs to put the laundry through.
Today, I was lazily laying under the cash register and having my boss drop jalapeño cheese curls into my mouth, when an old man peered over the counter and was greatly surprised to discover I wasn’t a dog. That was when I realized that 1.) I had been living a dog’s life, 2.) for a brief moment in time, I had made it, and 3.) people think I’m weird for lounging everywhere.
I have come here to eat chips and kick ass, but I’m all out of chips.
Please bring me chips.
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