𝔧𝔬𝔥𝔫 𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔠𝔥𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔢 @johnmars@mastodon.haus

I'm going to die of being in meetings. Decades later my skeleton will be found in a conference room and anthropologists will determine from my jaw position my last words were "ok so I think that wraps it up". The wear on my mandible suggests I said this over and over

Had to shoot the hardest bird imaginable at a boomer in a big fuck truck who cut me off on my bike pulling out of the McDonald's (of course) at 11 & Lafayette.

If you want your day at work to go quickly, just schedule a meeting you'll dread for 11am and then before you know it, the day is half over!

@ChrisSpicer Thanks, bud. It's nothing too serious, just some stuff to keep an eye on in the future.

Possibly one of the most satisfying things I've experienced is taking off that accursed heart monitor, even if it took off a few layers of skin with it

Very productive day of work so far spent looking at google image results for "dwarven mountain fortress"

Sike, I guess. Gotta wear this dumb ass thing for two weeks now. Probably nothing too serious, possible arrhythmia

I've either been hungover or suffering from food poisoning for two days. Can't tell but I've finally found a way to curb excess eating so let's gooo!

@cleocatra Macomb County was a mistake

I got really sad watching it and did the whole cup + post card trap before letting it outside. Taped up the screen hole with duct tape

There was a bee in my office this morning. Presumably it got in through the hole in my screen the day before. It was crawling around the ledge so I opened the window and it gently crawled onto the screen. Now it is ambling around the screen. I'm hoping it can find the hole and escape to do fulfilling bee things like pollinate flowers but I'm worried its stuck. This is all something that is really happening right now but I also am feeling the bee a lot.

this season sucks ass but the true winner is that fat little nerd GRRM.

I spend way too much time designing my dream basement which may be the most Midwest thing about me.

"I think you should leave" is the funniest shit I've seen in a long time. It's been a while since I cry-laughed trying to catch my breath

I suppose masto is the DVD commentary

Facebook is for calmly educating. Twitter is for telling Joss Wheadon to Wheeze-on my nuts

A new game my dogs invented: "take turns digging a hole until the other dog chases you off. Repeat until all paws involved are extremely muddy then sneak back in the house before your nice dad notices and has to spend the morning cleaning all surfaces."

Dude, if stuff smells like white jasmine consider me in.

Keep good backups, folks. We do and I've still spent an entire workday putting everything back together