Show more

Very excited to find a tool for mass tweet deletion. It was really past due since my Timehop liked to continually shame and embarrass me

The best part of going to the gym so early is seeing the same gd infomercials over and over. I could sell you an air fryer

Supposedly, Animal Crossing Switch is set to come out April 29 and that is so much sooner than I thought and I am totally ready to lose my shit.

I don't know about you guys, but I'm super pumped for yet another billionaire dickhead to spend an election cycle telling us what we can't afford as a country.

I had a dream last night that I was in a plane crash. I realized it was going down, and then felt the lurch of the crash and then "woke up" OK, still in the dream. Someone told me that our luggage was scattered around and I got super pissed when my switch wasn't in my backpack because that meant I lost my Diablo III progress. After surviving a plane crash. I woke up to my precious switch securely next to the bed.

It's Planet Fitness, 8 Mile, at 5:30am. I want to use some dumbbells but one guy has like 6 mf pairs spread out in front of him

"Everything" is now on Switch and if I can't buy it a second time, I guess I'll have to settle for getting extremely stoned and streaming it from my PS4

Get ready : 2019 is the year of the Earth Pig and the year where we get to observe the Super Blood Wolf Moon which means this year is about stability, friendship, and calling upon ancient wolf gods to huff and puff nazis to another planet.

My AMC Stubs membership expired and I'm faced with a crisis of loyalty because I might switch to the Emagine one. It's basically the same system and includes free parking. Star John R has been my shit since childhood, and Azteca is right in front, but I don't know you guys.

I would use a whole genie wish to be able to have Opie understand this e collar he has to wear is for his own good

Measurably seeing yourself get stronger is intensely satisfying. Some alt-right shithead hit the gym today, did you?

"Trump was overjoyed when he nominated Mattis, frequently describing him as β€œMad Dog” and announcing his appointment at a post-election political rally. Mattis detests the nickname and prefers "Chaos," as some in the military call him"

Trying to eat clean is the biggest challenge I've ever faced (which shows the relative comfort I've lived in). Way harder than quitting smoking was. I'm addicted to eating trash like some kind of gd possum. Day 3 going strong.

"How far down do I have to scroll on this blog post to get to the actual fuckin recipe?!" The story of my cooking life.

Show more
Mastodon Haus!

A Mastodon instance for friends.

No Ads, No Algorithms, No Nazis.

An alternative to corporate owned, privacy intrusive social media platforms